Wednesday, January 18, 2006

 

Julia Roberts ain't got nothing on this guy

It's not very often that Our Man in LA sites girlie date movies, but some days they just cry out. Remember the beginning of PRETTY WOMAN? That bum on Hollywood Boulevard? What's he say?

"Welcome to Hollywood. Everybody's got a dream, what's your dream?"

Wait till you hear Chuck Lamb's dream.

Our Man in LA has lived out here on the Left Coast long enough that he's seen more than a few people with the dream of making it big in the entertainment game. There's the dude who wrote screenplays, then took out billboard space on La Cienega telling movie stars that he'd written something for them, and that they could check out his work on his website.

Sometimes, if the right star wouldn't respond, he'd cross out that star's name, replace it with someone else. Thus, Harrison Ford became George Clooney became Matthew McConaghey.

No word yet on whether any of these stars ever bit on one of his scripts. I'd guess no. Otherwise, every writer starting out in LA would be renting billboard space. Our Man in LA has one billboard picked out special, just in case.

This brings us to Chuck Lamb. Chuck has a dream. It's not a big one - it's not world peace or less traffic or another season of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

Nope. Chuck wants to be dead. That's right. Dead.

And, you know, on TV and stuff.

Chuck's got a website, www.deadbodyguy.com, where he shows his fervent desire to appear on a network television show as a corpse. Doesn't matter if it's one of the Law and Orders or one of the CSIs, or The Shield or LOST, or whatever. TV producers and casting agents, Chuck Lamb wants to be your corpse.

To that end, the website includes photos of Chuck's demise in a variety of positions, apparently done in by a number of creative and disgusting methods. He even spent some time on the Today show this morning, begging the entertainment industry to let him appear as a dead guy on one of their shows.

Once again, that's www.deadbodyguy.com.

Our Man in LA finds himself a little bit speechless about this. On the one hand, good for him that he's set his sites on something that should be reasonably attainable. On the other hand, what's the pathology of someone who hopes to be beamed into millions of households as a bleeding, eviscerated corpse?

Insert joke about the Detroit Lions or New York Jets here.

Also, Our Man in LA really, really wishes that Dead Body Guy wasn't from Ohio, official home state of Our Man in LA (and practitioner of Intelligent Design teaching in the high school). Makes an Ohioan ex-pat like me feel just the slightest bit peevish, truth be told.

Sigh. I can't even make jokes about it. Too simple.

At the end of the aforementioned PRETTY WOMAN, Julia Roberts tells Richard Gere that, in fairy tales, when the Prince saves the girl, the girl saves the Prince right back. Hollywood Gods, Chuck Lamb doesn't want to be saved! Don't save him!

Just murder the bum. And show it on Law and Order.

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Hypothekenzinsen schwanken im bereich einer Reihe betreffend Faktoren abhaengig. Geraeuschvoll userer Presseinformation, bewegen Hypothekenzinsen hinein Bezug gen gute Renditen langfristiger Staatsanleihen. In welcher vergangenen Sieben Tage einander ziehen die Investoren gegenueber den konservativen Charakter der Staatsanleihen bewegt. Dies hat eine perfekte Rendite einer zehnjaehrigen Note unter 5 Prozentzahl gedrueckt. Spreads zwischen Treasury-Renditen und ausserdem Hypothekenzinsen sind niemals konstant. Diese Spreads koennen rein Zeiten von Nervositaet nachruesten oder drueckt rein Zeiten erhoehter Optimismus Laenger als Kreditnehmers Zahlung Faehigkeiten. Trotz man diese Macht welcher Beklemmung erzeugten Zuhause kann Zweifelsfall kann von Beweis lediglich inside den Pudding Oben ihre Auswirkungen uff ( berlinerisch ) Wohnungsmarkt Stabilitaet. Laut einer Bloomberg-Bericht erklaerte Toll Brothers Inc. dramatische 10% Erhoehung der Einlagen inside den letzten 2 Wochen November als Hypothekenzinsen gestiegen. Wiewohl Refinanzierung nach mann Einbruch zeigte, kletterte Hypothekenantraege 1,8% diese Sieben Tage beendet 3. Zwoelfter Monat des Jahres, berichtete gute Finanzierung Bankers Association.



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