Monday, October 10, 2005


Football Gods to Wieland: Not so fast, my friend

By the time that Our Woman in LA and I headed out for our date night on Saturday (dinner at a cool Italian place in Silverlake and a showing of "In Her Shoes" at the Los Feliz Theater), I felt pretty good about how the football gods treated me.


1) The Texas Longhorns finally - FINALLY - defeated their arch-rivals, the Oklahoma Sooners after five tries. Not just beat them, she-lacked them. 45-12! Hook em, Horns! It was so one-sided that ABC in Southern California switched over to the Michigan-Minnesota game because "it was more competitive".

Don't underestimate the importance of this one to Longhorn faithful like Our Man in LA. Losing to the Okies for five straight years is like General Zod actually getting Superman to "KNEEL" before him . . . in Action Comics and Adventures of Superman. It's like being forced to watch repeat viewings of Passenger 57 without getting drunk.

It's no kind of good. But now the Horns have done it. And order is restored.

2) Northwestern - against all odds - defeated Wisconsin (the team that beat Michigan) in a game that featured not one minute of defensive play. 51-48 was the final score, and I know it sounds like halftime in the NBA. Could the Cats stumble into a bowl game. Well, probably not, but at least we beat the Badgers . . .

Sub-note about the game: At least once during the offensive struggle between Wildcat and Badger, ESPN commentators noted that Northwestern's got quite a home field advantage. Speaking as a graduate of that august institution, I would like to say:

"It does?"

No, really. Are you serious? Because it's not like any number of squads haven't had their way with the Cats over the years. I know that students there now don't celebrate victories over Illinois by dumping the uprights into Lake Michigan anymore, but seriously.

Which reminds me. Is it just me, or do football commentators these days feel compelled to explain to you that even the most decimated opponent could always come back and snatch victory from the jaws of . . . well, death. Not even defeat. Death.

Oklahoma was down by three touchdowns late in the third quarter and hadn't scored one all day. Still, Keith Jackson and co. were talking about how those crafty Sooners weren't out of it. Keith, are you worried that people will turn away? Do you not get paid as much if they do?

Sheesh. Anyway, back to the original topic.

Also winning on Saturday: Indiana (where everyone in my family went to college) beating the snot out of Illinois, and UCLA proving they're for real against Cal.

The downers came late in the day and on Sunday. Ohio State lost to Penn State - a team that's supposedly back like a bad cold or a clingy ex-girlfriend. And on Sunday night, the hometown Bengals finally lost their first game of the season - to Jacksonville.

Feh. So it wasn't a perfect football weekend. But it's hard for me to be really upset about the Bengals. Fact is, in recent years four wins might be a fine season total for that team. This year, they still look like a top contender. They have Tennessee next week, and I think they can take them.

As for the Buckeyes, well, shucks. Here's the big question I take from that game:

When a team you love (Ohio State) is playing a team you hate (Penn State), and the hated team wins, do you feel worse because your boys lost or because the Cossacks and other nefarious perpetrators won?

Yeah. I'm not sure, either.

the football gods do not like perfection my friend. that's my only conclusion. since sarah and i have been together there has never been a weekend where the packers, the redskins, and the wildcats all win. someone must lose -- the football gods demand a sacrifice or joe theisman's leg! sigh. this week it was the 'skins. damn it.
Well, and Ohio took it twice on the chin - both in Bengaldom and Buckeye-land.

If not for the Browns, it would have been miserable all around. Thank God someone had to play the Bears!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?