Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Julia Roberts ain't got nothing on this guy

It's not very often that Our Man in LA sites girlie date movies, but some days they just cry out. Remember the beginning of PRETTY WOMAN? That bum on Hollywood Boulevard? What's he say?

"Welcome to Hollywood. Everybody's got a dream, what's your dream?"

Wait till you hear Chuck Lamb's dream.

Our Man in LA has lived out here on the Left Coast long enough that he's seen more than a few people with the dream of making it big in the entertainment game. There's the dude who wrote screenplays, then took out billboard space on La Cienega telling movie stars that he'd written something for them, and that they could check out his work on his website.

Sometimes, if the right star wouldn't respond, he'd cross out that star's name, replace it with someone else. Thus, Harrison Ford became George Clooney became Matthew McConaghey.

No word yet on whether any of these stars ever bit on one of his scripts. I'd guess no. Otherwise, every writer starting out in LA would be renting billboard space. Our Man in LA has one billboard picked out special, just in case.

This brings us to Chuck Lamb. Chuck has a dream. It's not a big one - it's not world peace or less traffic or another season of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT.

Nope. Chuck wants to be dead. That's right. Dead.

And, you know, on TV and stuff.

Chuck's got a website,, where he shows his fervent desire to appear on a network television show as a corpse. Doesn't matter if it's one of the Law and Orders or one of the CSIs, or The Shield or LOST, or whatever. TV producers and casting agents, Chuck Lamb wants to be your corpse.

To that end, the website includes photos of Chuck's demise in a variety of positions, apparently done in by a number of creative and disgusting methods. He even spent some time on the Today show this morning, begging the entertainment industry to let him appear as a dead guy on one of their shows.

Once again, that's

Our Man in LA finds himself a little bit speechless about this. On the one hand, good for him that he's set his sites on something that should be reasonably attainable. On the other hand, what's the pathology of someone who hopes to be beamed into millions of households as a bleeding, eviscerated corpse?

Insert joke about the Detroit Lions or New York Jets here.

Also, Our Man in LA really, really wishes that Dead Body Guy wasn't from Ohio, official home state of Our Man in LA (and practitioner of Intelligent Design teaching in the high school). Makes an Ohioan ex-pat like me feel just the slightest bit peevish, truth be told.

Sigh. I can't even make jokes about it. Too simple.

At the end of the aforementioned PRETTY WOMAN, Julia Roberts tells Richard Gere that, in fairy tales, when the Prince saves the girl, the girl saves the Prince right back. Hollywood Gods, Chuck Lamb doesn't want to be saved! Don't save him!

Just murder the bum. And show it on Law and Order.

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CBA new season begins Beijing battle Shanghai will open dozen of specific date in November uncertain
The reporter is in charge of central know from basket yesterday, CBA of new sports season begins fight is certain already, will by group of corner of gold of Beijing of the champion that defend crown advocate meet Shanghai male basket head-on, will undertake prize-giving ceremony of total championship [url=]cheap nikes shoes[/url] ring at the appointed time. To this, yuan Chao of Beijing club vise general manager expresses to our newspaper reporter however, have not receive basket assist announcement.
Before a many month, basket assist extend to club of much home CBA announcement, enquire whether each club undertakes of purpose new sports season begins battle. According to Introduction Yuan Chao, beijing team also submitted application at that time, but did not get a response up to now. And during this, the far competion area of Qing Dynasty of competition ground of cent of new sports season that includes club of Dongguan new century also undertakes of purpose begin battle.
Basket is in charge of Bai Xilin of minister of central contest ministry to say, although had begun certainly,battle is in Beijing, but place has not decide, "But 5 loose gymnasium with be put extremely likely in hardware better. " he discloses, new sports season is preliminary and affirmatory in November the bottom leaves dozen, "But specific where has not decided one day. "But specific where has not decided one day..
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