Recently, Grant Blair, official pal of Our Man in LA, wrote in to inquire about the forthcoming Baby Wieland. What he wanted to know was where the baby's NFL allegiances lie. Would it be a Bengals fan, like its dad (in other words, would I subject a newborn to the pain and suffering that is Bengal fan-dom), or would said child be a fan of a currently non-existent but maybe-someday new Los Angeles-based club?

I should have seen this coming.

One thing that is extremely clear about Baby Wieland's interest in sports is that he or she will no doubt favor the college game over the pros, in both football and basketball.

Why, you ask? Because it's the Wieland-Glazer family way. Baby Wieland's Dad comes from a background that favors the mighty Longhorns and the mighty Buckeyes in football, not to mention the Hoosiers in basketball. We also like Northwestern, but that's not really as sports-related, to be honest. Baby Wieland's Mom is related to the mascot of the Tar Heels, for God's sake. And she should be a DePaul fan, too, but frannkly, the Blue Demons fall off just because the list of favored teams is loooooong.

So, here's the skinny on the pro teams we would like Baby Wieland to favor:

1) In football, probably the New York Giants (favorite team of Mom's family) until such time as Al Davis dies and the Raiders return to LA. Then we'll flip a coin. Steph also wants the world to know that she likes the Manning brothers. Because they're cute. And good. But mostly cute.

(Editor's Note: Our Man in LA does think that the NFL will return to the LA area some time in the next 60 years. Likely, it'll be the Raiders about 20 minutes after Al Davis passes away, IMHO. But it could also be the Jacksonville Jaguars, whose fan base can't even sell out a stadium in Jacksonville. Jacksonville! Where there's nothing else going on! At least in LA, the fans would stick it out for a couple of quarters or until it was clear that we wouldn't win. Anyway . . .)

2) In pro basketball, well . . . it'll be hard to ignore the Lakers, but we have a strict anti-Kobe policy in this house. If the Chicago Bulls would just take him off our hands, we would be happy to celebrate the Lakers. Till then, Clipper Nation, we salute you!

Wait a second, what did Our Man in LA just say at the end of that post? What was that?

Yeah, Our Woman in LA and I are having a kid. It's baby time.

The past three months have been exciting and crazy. Steph just completed her first trimester and is approaching week 15. We've made friends with her OB, we've seen ultrasounds, and this is just beginning to get cool. We've seen and heard the baby's heart beat. Wild. Seriously.

We've seen its fingers, arms, feet, and an ear on the latest ultrasound. I'm here to tell you, that baby looks marvelous.

Our Woman in LA and I live in a cool city. We've traveled the world. We do cool things for a living. We have cool families and cool friends.

Nothing - not one part of that list - prepped us for how amazing it is to see our baby moving around in Steph's belly. This isn't hyperbole, and it's not any of that witty stuff we normally post. It's just incredible.

Here are a couple of other pertinent details:

1) Too soon to know the gender, but yes, we are going to find out whether it's a boy or girl. We're planners. It's not about painting our soon-to-be-former home office pink or blue, it's about preparedness. For what it's worth, everyone seems to have an opinion about what it will be, what sports team it will root for (which is comical, really, because of course it's going to be a Longhorns fan), and what it will do for a living (should we start spending its movie star/professional baseball player income now??). We just want it to be healthy and happy. The other stuff is gravy.

2) About this morning sickness stuff. It kind of reminds me of that essay question in high school World History. You know the one. "The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire. Discuss." Yeah. Morning sickness is neither morning, nor really sickness in the regular sense. Steph says people don't really talk about the nausea, the grumbly stomach, the vomiting, the dizziness, and the general feeling of a hangover after a party given by Schumann.

I've never seen anyone smile through conditions like these (anyone remember how we all felt the day after Newton's law school graduation? Woof.). But Our Woman in LA is feeling good. And it's maybe starting to fade a little bit. Knocking on wood . . . reallly hard.

One last thing on the morning sickness point. What's with the conflicting old wives tales? First we hear bad morning sickness means it's a boy. Then we hear it means it's a girl. Seriously, can't all these old wives get together? If we can put a man on the moon, can't we get our old wives stories straight?

3) Due date: June 28, 2008.

A couple of notes on this date. Of course, Baby Wieland could be early or late in greeting the world. But I for one am happy with the June 28 due date. Why? Because if the baby comes on that day or later, it will not be a Gemini. And seriously, we're lousy with Geminis in this family. If it's a Gemini woman, so much more the worse. Consider: Steph's a gemini. So's my mom. So's her step-mom. So's our sister-in-law.

This has to end.

Note #2. June 28 is exactly two weeks after the opening of this year's City at Peace-Los Angeles show. No, of course Steph isn't taking time off. Sure, last year she was up till 4 a.m. every night during the week before the premiere. Yes, she's directing the show and its 50 or so teens again this year. What, me worry?

Steph's going to be fine. She's got a great staff, terrific support from City at Peace-National, and a group of kids who already look to be a great cast. It's going to be good. And hey, if Baby Wieland decides to come during the show, I can pretty much guarantee that the audience will never, ever forget this year's performance.

More to come on the baby. Happy Holidays to all! 2008 looks to be the best year yet.

What, you say? It's not 70 degrees where you are, on this sunny and beautiful Christmas day? Seriously? It's not?

I mean, what more does Our Man in LA have to do to get you people out here?

That's right, 70 degrees, clear and sunny on December 25. Really good day to go to the beach (a trifle cold, I'll grant you), but pretty nonetheless.

So anyway, I'm not back on the blog just to gloat about the weather out here on the left coast. That's just a small side benefit to posting again. Instead, I'm here to catch up with old friends and readers, and to let you all know what's up. It seems like I've had a bit of a pattern going here of late. You know the one.

First I go on a long hiatus from blogging. Then I come back and swear - SWEAR! - that I'm going to start posting regularly. Then I do, for about a week and a half. And then we rinse and repeat. Each time I come back, it's with a vengeance and an armload of excuses. It's probably a little annoying to the reader . . . but you have to ride the horse that brung you.

So here they are, in quick succession and no particular order, my excuses for being away so long:

1) Started shooting a short film in rural Georgia. Our Woman in LA and I went down to the tiny hamlet of Colquitt, Georgia, a couple of months back to start work on the short film A GARDEN CALLED GRATITUDE. I'm working with the Swamp Gravy theatre company and Community Performance, Inc. to produce this project, hopefully the first of several short films. Our Man in LA serves as director of the film and also adapted the screenplay from the really amazing play VISITING HOURS. I'll be heading back there in the New Year to continue shooting.

2) Spent Thanksgiving with the wife's family in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Have you been to the Outer Banks? To be honest, I wasn't a believer. I thought, "Sure, it's a beach, but I've seen beaches. I live near a beach. Maybe you've heard of it . . ." I was wrong. Really gorgeous scenery, and Steph's dad rented a house that sleeps 30. You had to drive a couple of miles down the beach to even get there. We went kite flying, ocean fishing, and we even took the extra trip to Kitty Hawk to see where the Wright Brothers took their first flight. Pictures to follow, assuming that I get to it.

By the way, beautiful though the Outer Banks (official acronym: OBX) might be, Ohio is still the birthplace of aviation. Eat it.

3) The trailer to the new Batman movie is on line. I've seen it like a gazillion times, and it keeps getting cooler every single time I see it. Go to newsarama.com and fish around for the link.

4) Oh yeah, I had two one-act plays debut at the Ruby Theatre at the Complex in Hollywood. The shows - BABY ON BOARD and GAME NIGHT - were part of a one-act showcase back in October. Special thanks to Our Woman in LA for her incredible direction of GAME NIGHT and to longtime buddy Zack Durant for his direction of BABY ON BOARD. The plays of Wieland anchored the night - they were the first and last plays performed.

Not to be outdone, Our Man in LA directed one of the shows as well - returning the favor to Zack by working over his short play SMOKING.

5) Hard at work writing - working on a novel and doing some clean-up on a couple of scripts. And when I'm not doing that, I've been traveling a seriously crazy amount for the day job. Over the past couple of months, there have been six trips to one end of the country or another. Four more trips are planned for January alone.

6) Getting my blog on, travel-style. Check this out. Our Man in LA recently posted to the blog at Orbitz.com. Check out the link at blog.orbitz.com. Longtime readers will notice amazing similarities between the post on Orbitz and the drunken ramblings of Our Man in LA's Hawaiian Journal.

See what I mean, they're not really good excuses, but at least there are a bunch of them. If only I could come up with a good excuse for not posting over the last few months. What kind of excuse could I use . . .

Thinking . . .

No, I don't think renting Volver on Netflix and not watching it for two months counts. What else . . .? I knew there was something . . .

Oh yeah!

Our Woman in LA is with child. That's right, fools! She's HAVING A BABY!!!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!! THAT'S PARENTS, LA-STYLE!!!!!

That's a pretty good excuse. More to come.